Ok. Today begins day one of my so-called 'cleanse.' This morning, I finished the last of my 'tempting binge food' which consisted of scrambled eggs, a funsize bag of skittles, and a capri sun. Now I'm about to drink my glass of laxative tea. Throughout the rest of the week, I am to drink tea every morning and night, and I am to consume no solid food apart from gum, mints, and fruits. All I can have is some weird lemonade concuction. My first goal is to make it through Thursday before breaking my fast.

I'm going to the tanning salon with my friend today.. so hopefully I'll be on my way to nice, bronze skin soon! My face is so pale compared to my body right now. My tan totally got messed up over spring break... hmm.. I'm so full. Argh. Once I'm below 90 lbs, nobody can call me fat anymore!! especially my boyfriend.

i'm just so tired of being "thick." i keep telling myself that i will lose weight TOMORROW, that i will go on a diet TOMORROW. i need to start now. and keep up with it. to tell you the truth, i've never kept up with anything in my life. i'm just a quitter. i've never lasted a diet for more than a few weeks, or kept a job for more than 2 months, or simply just keeping my room tidy is impossible for me! but no more.

i'm not going to be lazy.

i'm not going to quit.

i'm determined.

and this time, i WILL succeed.

ultimate goal: win his heart.. =)

since waking up,
- 2 & 1/2 slices of pizza (est. 425)
- grapefruit (103)
- 2 servings of special k cereal (325)
total: 853 calories, not too bad.. as long as it's under 1000..
 

^ gross, that's like me... NOW =/

and here's the beautiful tila tequila...


and miscellaneous thinspo..


 

my room decor..